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Joke of the Day

"Music makes every day better, especially if you turn it up just loud enough to drown out all the people around you."

"I come from a small town. I come from a town where the population never changes. Everytime a kid is born, some guy leaves town. Old Rodney Dangerfield..."

"Planned to go to Thailand for my vaca this year but after hearing about the ladyboys I thought Phuket"

"My friends think I have a black sense of humour I don't know what they're talking about... In my view it's golden."

"Why did the liontamer stop using WinZip? ...because lions only understand .rars"

"[after an accident on the ski slope] ME: did i nail the triple backflip PARAMEDIC: u choked on a tootsie roll and fell off of the ski lift"

"Know what ""buffet"" stands for? Big Ugly Fat Fuckers Eating Together. Credit: This loud big ugly fat fucker drinking a few tables away from me at this bar."

"If ""The Stache"" is ever going to make a real comeback they are going to have to stop posting pictures of pedophiles on the evening news."

"Aww, it's so cute when you try to talk about things you don't understand."

"GOT knock knock Knock knock? Who's there? No one. No one, who? Jk it's Arya Stark. I'm out, Jaqen H'ghar."