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Joke of the Day

"Aww, it's so cute when you try to talk about things you don't understand."

"My housemates may get angry at me for stealing all their cooking utensils.. ..but quite frankly that's a whisk I'm willing to take."

"Did you hear about the white supremacists chemist with a lisp? He was so radium carbon iodine thorium he joined the potassium potassium potassium."

"Yoga Instructor: This is Warrior pose Me:*Sitting down, eating a cheeseburger YI: Me:*chewing I'm a Warrior who just slayed a McDonaldite"

"Online dates are like recipes... they never look like the picture."

"The Air-force Cadets get Red Bull in their ration packs Because apparently it gives them wings"

"[yelling over loud strip club music] DO YOU ACCEPT KOHLS KASH"

"So a guy goes to a bratwurst convention... So a guy goes to a bratwurst convention hoping to pick up some chicks. He went home alone though; the place was a total sausage fest."

"I couldn't remember what time the sun was set to rise this morning. But then it dawned on me."

"I want to visit north Korea one day... before everything goes south."