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Joke of the Day

"Know what ""buffet"" stands for? Big Ugly Fat Fuckers Eating Together. Credit: This loud big ugly fat fucker drinking a few tables away from me at this bar."

"TIL that someone in the UK gets stabbed every 52 seconds Poor guy."

"This girls skirt is so short I can see how many times her dad missed a dance recital from here."

"I'm starting to wonder if people just sneak into North Korea for a chance to hang out with an ex-president."

"Welcome to twitter, the support group for people who like people who don't like people."

"Have you ever seen a man-eating tiger ? No but in the restaurant next door I once saw a man eating chicken !"

"Age is just a number? I stole $100 from your wallet and replaced it with a $5. Don't worry, they're just numbers."

"Guys who go see 50 Shades of Grey... Do you all remain seated an extra 30 min after the movie's done? "

"What did the Nazi officer say when he was captured? It's not me; it's Jew."

"What do you call a black neurosurgeon? A Doctor you fucking racist."