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Joke of the Day

"I read the new iPhone was a commercial failure. This surprised me, because I thought it was going to be a 6S."

"I like my women like I like my chocolate with nuts"

"I hope the guy who stole my debit card enjoys his $12 shopping spree."

"CRAIGSLIST AD: Wanted - chicken nugget shaped like Rafael. Have 2 Leonardo's, willing to trade. Serious offers only. No Michaelangelo's."

"[start of interview] Me: hi sir nice to meet you *i go to shake is hand but spill his coffee everywhere* Interviewer: ...welcome to BP"

"I noticed my wife was reading a book that was titled ""The Silent Wife"". I immediately asked ""That's fiction, right?"""

"""The police are looking for a man with one eye named Murphy."" ""What's the other eye called?"""

"Why are organic farmers the best hip hop artists? Because they make the best beets."

"A man calls his boss to call in sick... The boss asks him, ""How sick are you anyway?"" ""I fucked my sister! Is that sick enough for you?"""

"My daughter said she was in a memoir. I was intrigued until I realized what she said was meme war. Whatever tickles your fancy, Love."