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Joke of the Day

"I read the new iPhone was a commercial failure. This surprised me, because I thought it was going to be a 6S."

"The guy I've been paying to pick up poop in my backyard just realized that I don't own any animals."

"Helen Keller walks into a bar.... Then a chair, then a table."

"My productivity at work has gone down 43% since corporate bought me a swivel chair."

"Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make Then they call me ugly and poor"

"When is a door not a door? When it's ajar. (oldie but goodie)"

"What do you call the red mushy stuff between the elephant's toes? Slow moving natives. Source: one of the all time great TV shows"

"I just tried to kill a spider with hairspray. He's still alive, but his hair looks outstanding."

"What's a dentists favourite time? 2:30"

"So Curtis Jackson has filed for Bankruptcy... at least he still has 50 Cent to his name."