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Joke of the Day

"I just tried to kill a spider with hairspray. He's still alive, but his hair looks outstanding."

"What happened when the monster stole a bottle of perfume? He was convicted of fragrancy."

"Don't you hate it when... [NSFW] ...you could have actually viewed that Reddit post at work?"

"A survey shows that 20% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house and 80% kiss their house goodbye when they leave the wife.."

"Did you hear about the guy in masturbation contest? He really held his own."

"Leaving restaurant: ""That was lovely"" Outside: ""Well, it was okay"" In car: ""I mean, it wasn't great"" Back home: ""We won't go there again"""

"If I were Luke Skywalker it would have taken me about six minutes to turn R2-D2 into a bong."

"You really shouldn't make fun of a fat girl with a lisp. I'm sure she's thick and tired of it."

"Calling someone a ""protestor"" is now racist... Yupp. That's a real joke."

"Greatest Photocopy Machine 9Gag"