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Joke of the Day

"My favorite workout is a mix between a lunge and a crunch, I call it lunch."

"What do a midget and a dwarf have in common? Very little."

"Sometimes I'll just go ""liking"" some shit on the Internet and I honestly don't even know if I really mean it."

"After many years of studying at a university, I've finally become a PhD... or Pizza Hut Deliveryman as people call it."

"Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crumby. - my 4 y.o. daughter"

"Women only call me ugly until they see how much money I make... Then they don't call me at all"

"What is the first thing that vampires learn at school? The alphabat."

"What is the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? One goes **Whack** ""Shit!"" and the other goes ""Shit!"" **Whack**"

"I am so used to automatic doors at work that when I come across one I have to physically open I just stand there like a dummy"

"People keep comparing the election to Empire Strikes Back or Revenge Of The Sith... Personally I would have gone with The Star Wars Christmas Special"