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Joke of the Day

"People keep comparing the election to Empire Strikes Back or Revenge Of The Sith... Personally I would have gone with The Star Wars Christmas Special"

"What is a goal keepers favourite snack? Beans on post!"

"An Eskimo is holidaying in New Zealand.. His car breaks down. A Kiwi stops to help, opens the bonnet, and says ""Bro, you've blown a seal"" To which the Eskimo responds ""so what mate, you fuck sheep!"""

"Are you getting older and wiser? No he's getting older and wider!"

"I've lost all the aces from this deck of cards. I just can't deal with this."

"Keep scrolling, I got nothing."

"Why is it so hard to build a blonde snowman? Because you have to hollow out the head."

"It's always good to know what's happening in astrology. When nothing seems to be going right, you can blame the stars."

"Got kicked out of the casino again. Apparently, gold chocolate coins mess up their slot machines or something."

"What do you call a dog with no legs?... It doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come."