200621

Joke of the Day

"I am so used to automatic doors at work that when I come across one I have to physically open I just stand there like a dummy"

"If I was a police sketch artist I would be like ""is this the guy?"" And they would be like ""nope that's a barn"" because I can only draw barns"

"Man goes to the doctor ""Doctor I think my wife is dead."" ""What do you mean think! Either she's dead or she isn't Well replies the man ""The sex is the same but the washing is piling up in the sink"""

" All in all, it's just a... nother post on my wall. "

"Awful chat-up line: ""Did your mother have zika virus?"" Because I like a little head"

"What do mathmeticians do when they are constipated? Work it out with a pencil"

"I bought some rose-scented shampoo the other day.. ..it smells better than real poo."

"TIL the Hebrews were betrayed and captured by the Egyptians after walking through the Red Sea The event was named ""Moses' double cross""."

"My friend recently found out that he is both gay and dyslexic... He is still in Daniel..."

"When I was young, I used to think that wealth and power would bring me happiness. . . . I was right."