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Joke of the Day

"You guys have been the worst hostages I've ever used, hands down. *everyone lowers their hands* GODDAMN IT!!"

"Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? He was looking for ""Pooh."""

"Two things I will never grasp in life: 1. What to write in birthday cards. 2. What to do when people are singing happy birthday to me."

"My workplace consists of 80% women and 20% men.. I guess you could say that we are under staffed"

"Stop it guys, there's no such thing as Canadian English. We just say ""free healthcare"" more and ""supersized"" less."

"What's the difference between people on Reddit and dead people? Dead people had lives."

"Porn websites should end in .cum"

"It would be awesome to have friends as committed to keeping in touch as much as bill collectors are."

"Schools are giving kids a bad influence nowadays..... When they go into the real world they'll be expecting free handouts."

"We are all God`s children... so why is Jesus so special? thanks to Jimmy Carr for this one"