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Joke of the Day

"Schools are giving kids a bad influence nowadays..... When they go into the real world they'll be expecting free handouts."

"Ever hear of ""organic"" grapes? Yeah, they're called Raisens."

"I just applied for my medical marijuana certificate. Reason: Joint pain."

"I put out a Want ad for a psychic... It said, ""You know when and where to show up. Don't be late."""

"I've done some pretty stupid things while I've been drunk, but in alcohol's defense, I've done a lot of pretty stupid things sober, too."

"22,110! 22,109! 22,108! 22,107! 22,106! 22,105! 22,104! 22,103! 22,102! 22,101! 22,100! 22,099! 22,098! 22,097! 22,096! 22,095! 22,094!"

"Grandma didn't do 69 I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, ""No, but I have done 53, that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""

"There is nothing louder than a party across the street that you weren't invited to."

"How do you kill a troll? With a firewall spell."

"Working for sanitation truly is a thankless job Not only do you have to take your boss's shit, you have to deal with everyones"