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Joke of the Day

"I have been talking to this beautiful woman online for a while... And today I finally got to meet him"

"Where does Charlie Sheen shop? At Winners."

"A wise man learns from his mistakes. A wiser man learns from others' mistakes."

"When life hands you a komodo dragon suddenly the times you got lemons seem pretty cool."

"What's the difference between a vacuum and a Harley Davidson? The position of the dirtbag"

"Instagram banned me for life cuz I kept commenting ""but are you happy?"" on everyone's pictures."

"I wish this cop would stop riding my ass, it makes me paranoid. I also wish he'd turn his sirens off and stop trying to shoot out my tires."

"What do you do in 5 minutes that you then suffer for for 9 months? A school application."

"If you think being a vegetarian will make you thin, I direct your attention to cows."

"Why does the little mermaid wear seashells? Because D shells are too big."