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Joke of the Day

"Hey, courtroom artists. If you think the guy sounds guilty, draw an eye patch or scar. This isn't photography."

"What happened to the entertainer who did a show for the cannibals ? He went down really well !"

"So I just found out those stick figures on the back of cars are not to keep track of how many pedestrians you've hit,i will be removing mine"

"Um, hi. How much is the rent for this amazing apartment? Ma'am, this is the wine aisle of the grocery store."

"What are the advantages of living in Switzerland? Well, for one, the flag is a big plus."

"Going to McDonald's for a salad is like going to a whorehouse for a hug."

"What's the difference between black people amd snow tires? Snow tires don't sing when you put chains on them."

"How do you comfort a grammar nazi? ""There, they're, their."""

"Why did the Chicken cross road? With rice."

"A horror movie where the girl in the woods actually outruns the mutated chainsaw murderer, then it shows him sadly limping back to his car."