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Joke of the Day

"Amazingly, over half a million people showed up for Obama's inauguration ceremony, and only 8 missed work."

"A man walks into a bar A paraplegic rolls."

"Two in one people are Siamese."

"Who is the biggest gangster in the sea ? Al Caprawn !"

"Lord of the Rings marathon -Do you know what a Lord of the Rings marathon is? -Yes -But do you know what a Lord of the Rings triathlon is? -No? -That's when you watch all three of them"

"A man's sex life is like an oak tree You spend the first part of your life growing up and not doing much. Then later you nut almost constantly for a short period of time, right up until you go bald"

"Have you heard? They pulled the Steve Irwin brand of sunscreen off the shelves. It didn't protect against deadly rays."

"To be honest you were our third choice for this poisoner job but the other two got poiso... oh that was you, nice"

"Why was the Energizer Bunny tried in court? He was charged with battery."

"Wife. Would you cut the label off my dress. Me. Sure *Snip* There you go. Wife. Thanks. Me. No problem. *Kicks pony tail under bed."