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Joke of the Day

"I have a fetish fetish. Things that turn me on turn me on."

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"Is it just me? Or does amy schumer look like sarah silvermann sounds?"
"The definition of agony is... A one handed man hanging on to a cliff for his dear life with itchy balls."
"If your wife comes out of the kitchen to whine at you what have you usually done wrong? Made her chain too long."
"3 drunk men walked into a bar, but another man came with them. He ducked."
"How many parents does it take to raise a homicidal maniac? Two, then one, then none"
"Why were the early days of history called the dark ages? Because there were so many knights"
"Whats the worst joke you can play on an American? Two pies to the face and one somewhere in a field in Pennsylvania."
"How many redditors does it take to make a good joke? Three. One to post it, the second to post a better punchline in the comments, and the third to complain that it's a repost."
"If the ESPN Fantasy Football app were slower and unreliable it would be playing quarterback for the Bears."