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Joke of the Day

"What did the Pink Panther say after he sprayed raid on an anthill? *Dead ant. Dead ant. Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant.*"

"They really need to add a ""download this song illegally"" button on Pandora."

"I walked out naked one time and she's like wtf. And I'm like this is how god made me! And she's like no that's how beer and tacos made you."

"""How can this idiot possibly be elected as president?"" Says a nation that hasn't gotten over the death of a gorilla in 6 months."

"I failed my Health and Safety class test today. Apparently, when they ask you,""In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?"" ""F**kin' large ones"" is not the correct answer."

"Why should honeymoons only last six days? Because seven days makes a hole weak."

"Fellas, imagine having your balls roughly kneaded for two days straight. Congratulations you just experienced menstrual cramps."

"A dwarf psychic escaped from a police holding cell. Headlines read ""Small Medium at Large"""

"Why did the black man walk backwards? I have no idea, Your Honor, but he was coming right at me and I felt my life was at risk."

"During sex, my wife is a screamer in bed ...That is when I walk in on her."