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Joke of the Day

"During sex, my wife is a screamer in bed ...That is when I walk in on her."

"evrytime i go to the zoo, i break down in front of the bird exhibits & shout HOW DID THEY CATCH YOU. U CAN FLY. HOW DID U LET THEM CATCH YOU"

"In politics we call it left-wing and right-wing because we are all a part of the same bird. And we are all being told what to do by bird brains."

"Two generations that were unable to go to bed without their stuffed animals or blankies now feel the same way about their phones."

"What's the shittiest day of the week? Saturday"

"Two most important rules of programming 1. Avoid repetitions 2. Avoid repetitions"

"I wondered where my boomerang had gone. Then it came back to me"

"I had to file a sexual harassment claim against a squirrel in the park yesterday... ...he wouldn't stop trying to grab my nut sack."

"Did you see the guy who didn't have a right hand? No, he left"

"My friend is deaf in his left ear. His hearing is alright."