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Joke of the Day

"I walked out naked one time and she's like wtf. And I'm like this is how god made me! And she's like no that's how beer and tacos made you."

"What do you call Donald Trump's plane? Hair force one..."

"I walked into a room full of people masturbating They looked surprised when I didn't stop"

"What is something all Hispanic people write in college? An ese."

"What do you call someone who masturbates a lot? A nutcracker."

"Why are british employees fat Because they get paid by the pound"

"Remember that someone out there is thinking of you right now, figuring out how to make your death look like an accident."

"LPT: If you ever find yourself lost in the wild... ...simply misspell the SOS signal and some arsehole will show up within minutes to correct you."

"My hair looks amazing today. I hope I see everybody I hate."

"What happened to the Indian that drank too much? He tee-peed his pants."