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Joke of the Day

"Why did the black man walk backwards? I have no idea, Your Honor, but he was coming right at me and I felt my life was at risk."

"it might be a handjob for her... but it's a career for me."

"One of the toddlers on the Intensive Care Unit is playing with a toy donkey. ICU baby, shaking that ass."

"*stands in front yard, hands on hips, giving each autumn leaf that falls on my lawn a stern, disapproving look*"

"What does Mario use to talk to dead people? A Luigi Board"

"I asked a friend of mine what's the best joke he heard of. He told me to stand in front of a mirror. Still don't get it."

"What do you call Harrison Ford when he smokes weed? ""Han So-High"""

"Ray Charles has said he doesn't mind being blind.. Because at least he isn't black!"

"Hotel beds are often all the proof I need that Satan owns a mattress factory."

"Me: Please wait to eat your Craisins until we're in the car *5 secs later Me: What're you eating? 5yo: *Mouthful of Craisins* ......Nothing"