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Joke of the Day

"Someone told me to go to Hell I told them I'd say hi to their mother for them"

"What's your spirit animal? ""An eagle. They're so majestic."" MEANWHILE Horse: hey eagle, what's your spirit human Eagle: this guy Dave"

"LPT: Play the Game of Thrones theme tune before you have sex if there is a risk of being overheard. Got me and my SO through the recent family stay overs during the festive season."

"Q: What is the lightest thing in the world? A: A penis because just a thought can lift it."

"Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench when some guys runs up and flashes them!! 2 of the old ladies had a stroke. The other one couldn't reach."

"I sext my foreign girlfriend a lot. I've come to find it's very difficult to say I'm stroking my cock in French; Although really I should just wait till class is over."

"In a recent survey on why men like BlowJobs 6% like the feeling, 12% like the thrill and... ...82% just like the silence."

"Just realized why my Grandpa called his sideburns thigh ticklers Excuse me guys while I go walk in front of a bus"

"There's always some truth behind: Just kidding, Knowledge behind: I don't know, Emotion behind: I don't care & Pain behind: It's okay."

"Fortune Cookie: YOU JUST BROKE MY HOUSE IN HALF AND NOW YOU'RE READING MY JOURNAL"