32255

Joke of the Day

"I sext my foreign girlfriend a lot. I've come to find it's very difficult to say I'm stroking my cock in French; Although really I should just wait till class is over."

"I started carrying a gun after an attempted mugging a few years ago Since then my muggings have been much more successful."

"[at my funeral] So young, how did he die? He ran into oncoming traffic after walking past a group of adults saying the word ""bae"""

"How do you tell the difference between a computer scientist and an aspiring music artist? Ask them what 'unsigned' means."

"What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter."

"What do you call a horse that likes arts and crafts? A hobby horse."

"All the people upset over same sex marriage didn't seem to mind when Paula Abdul was openly dating a cartoon cat in the late 80s."

"Sex is like candy... You can't give it to little girls without people thinking you're a pedophile"

"TIL grizzly bears are not harmed by microwave radiation. In fact, they are one among several species of non-polar bear!"

"Whats the difference between a Blonde and a Washing Machine? The Washing Machine will not follow you around for 2 weeks after you dump a load in it!"