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Joke of the Day

"Just realized why my Grandpa called his sideburns thigh ticklers Excuse me guys while I go walk in front of a bus"

"You give me butterflies. I give them back. Please stop handing me insects, it's really weird."

"Can anyone please post some good accountant jokes? Meeting with one tomorrow. Thanks"

"A paedophile says to a school boy ""I'll give you a lolly if you come into the van"" The boy replies ""Give me the whole bag and I'll cum into your mouth""."

"The janitor squints at the unfinished equation, picks up the chalk and scrawls methodically. Soon all the eights have top-hats like snowmen."

"In the today's news a man was caught attempting to pickpocket Warwick Davis. Don't know how anyone could stoop so low."

"What do you get if you cross a cow with a camel? A lumpy milkshake."

"Me: can remember the lyrics to 898989 different songs. Me: forgets what i had for dinner yesterday"

"Why did the blond not come out of the shower? Because the bottle said to lather, rinse, and repeat."

"I asked a New Zealander how many sexual partners he'd had He started counting but then fell asleep."