52515

Joke of the Day

"Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench when some guys runs up and flashes them!! 2 of the old ladies had a stroke. The other one couldn't reach."

"A pack of coyotes shrieking at 3:12 AM is less unsettling if you instead imagine it's a bachelorette party that just got a limo upgrade."

"A year ago, I likened Trump to an African dictator. Today, I think I owe African dictators an apology."

"When do ghosts have to stop scaring people? When they lose their haunting licenses."

"Teachers of the modern era who still expect hard copies of assignments can't bitch when I turn in a margarita-soaked paper."

"The past, the present and the future walked into a bar. It was tense."

"What did one tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing they were both stuck up cunts."

"Being a sexist doesn't bother me at all. The only people that will call me a sexist are women and their opinion doesn't matter."

"What do you say when somebody calls you a pussy? "" You are what you eat! """

"This week in Science: MRI technology and thought processing... are a hell of a lot cooler than last week"