134737

Joke of the Day

"Have you heard about the Oscar Pistorius drinking game? Every time someone goes to the toilet take 4 shots"

"How are a roof and quantum physics the same? They both go over your head."

"A husband says to his wife... ""What would you do if I won the lottery?"". She replied ""I'd take half, then leave you."" ""Excellent!"", he retorted, ""I won 12, here's 6, now fuck off""."

"My financial situation is so bad, I'M being sponsored by a child in Africa"

"My date said he wasn't looking for anything serious like I was trying to help him solve cold case files and shit."

"Do you have something against black people?!?!!? Yes, an alarm system."

"Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Yes"

"What the difference between a Mexican and a bench? The bench can support a family my first post here, a friend told me this joke."

"What cheese does a piano princess eat? Mozart-rella!"

"Why do women wear makeup and perfume? because they're ugly and they stink."