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Joke of the Day

"""I feel like I got off on the wrong foot."" - Star of a foot fetish flick criticizing his performance"

"Q: Have you heard the one about the witch's broom? A: It's sweeping the valley. (That one usually floors me, but I'm going to brush it aside before I'm swept away with laughter.)"

"What do you call someone who randomly shows up and drinks your alcohol? Bill Murray."

"Ref:I'm sending you off Player: What for ? Ref: The rest of the match !"

"[Red Lobster] Waiter: we're offering Endless Shrimp. Me: bring me the endless shrimp <5 days later> Waiter: please leave, I have a family"

"What does Nic Cage have in common with Asian fathers? Oh God, not the B's! Not the B's!"

"Parents always loved asking this joke. If a day old ant, takes a week to learn how to walk in a month's time, how many lemons are in a bag of pumpkins? A banana of this colour."

"I used to be indecisive. But now I'm not so sure."

"What has teeth but no mouth? A comb or a saw."

"My friends all say I'm a cocaine addict, but I disagree. I just like the smell."