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Joke of the Day

"Invention a German engineer has just invented a land mine that looks like a prayer mat. You should invest in this because prophets are going through the roof!"

"How many potatoes does it take to kill the irish? None."

"Q: Why does a viola burn longer than a violin? A: It is usually still in the case."

"Remember the two friends who got the world record for longest staring contest? Yeah? Well turns out they aren't seeing eye to eye anymore."

"Who knows about math and science and is always close by? An engi-near!"

"How did Harry get it in Ron's sweet Diagon Alley? A lubricantation."

"*dresses like a kitty* *climbs tree* *waits for new fireman husband to come rescue me*"

"*pulls out stack of pancakes and completely stuffs mouth during interview* Nexft queffstun pleeazse ""Umm. Your biggest weakness?"" Panfccakes"

"You know it's cold outside... When you see a politician with their hands in their own pockets."

"I'm so hungover that my thoughts sound like Sylvester Stallone."