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Joke of the Day

"How did Harry get it in Ron's sweet Diagon Alley? A lubricantation."

"Han solo vs Redditor Han: NEVER tell me the odds! Redditor: I don't even."

"Does anyone have a recipe for sausage and apples? I asked my girlfriend what she wanted tonight and she said she could use a wiener in cider."

"What's the only thing an Irish person can hold on to? A grudge."

"""So where are you from?"" - I'm a Liberian ""Oh sorry *whispers* where are you from?"""

"What's a duck's favorite drug? Quack."

"KFC is a shelter for battered chickens"

"Why did Mr. T reject Marxism? Because Marx said ""You have nothing to lose but your chains."" *^(Manifest der Kommunistischen Partei - 1848)*"

"Referring to one's self in the third person is really obnoxious, but you refer to yourself in the second person and it confuses everyone. It's probably why you have no friends."

"If I was an origami penguin, where would I hide?"