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Joke of the Day

"The Swedish word gratrunka means crying while masturbating. It's a real tear jerker"

"Did you hear ISIS blew up their first Italian recruit in a suicide bombing today? They decided to rig a Tony"

"""Daddy, I want to watch Dora."" Sweetie this is Dora. It's the one where she plays an NBA basketball game against the Brooklyn Nets"

"b-52's songs: -'love shack' -'hate shed' -'sad tent' -'happy igloo' -'frustrated RV' -'depression garage' -'melancholy lake house'"

"My friend said he was really down because of his car troubles... I told him i didn't wan't to hear his saab story."

"Are we stopping for ALL pedestrians now? I can understand kids & the elderly. But everyone else should be able to dodge cars."

"Have you ever heard the joke about the three wells? ""No"" ""Well, well, well...."""

"How is a 9 volt battery and a woman's anus similar You know it's wrong, but sooner or later you're going to put your tongue on it"

"My dog and I are just drivin around, listenin to music and OMG DOG DO YOU EVEN HAVE A LICENSE? PAWS AT 10 AND 2. DO NOT FOLLOW THAT SQUIRREL"

"Why is peter pan always flying? He neverlands. I like this joke because it never grows old."