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Joke of the Day

"How is a 9 volt battery and a woman's anus similar You know it's wrong, but sooner or later you're going to put your tongue on it"

"Got a couple of real nice piles of dog shit on your lawn there. Sure would be a shame if something was to... you know, ""happen"" to them."

"What do you get when you breed an elephant with a rhino? A visit from the university board of ethics."

"Let's have some fun! I'm up for anything today!* *As long as there aren't too many stairs."

"What do poor people have, rich people want? And if you eat it you die. It's nothing"

"Why cant Schizophrenics be alcoholics? because they never drink alone."

"If you call a group of lions a pride, and a group of crows a murder; what do you call a group of pedophiles? The British Parliament"

"If fake tans make you look more attractive then logically so will rolling your naked body in Cheetos dust."

"I'd try to commit suicide, But I'd probably fail like the rest of my life."

"My wallet just went through the wash. I guess you could say I've been laundering money."