133107

Joke of the Day

"Dr: So, how did you dislocate your shoulder? Me: I panicked when the blood pressure machine at the store got tigh- I mean football.."

"Those ""Run Hillary, Run!"" bumper stickers are selling incredibly well Democrats put them on the back of their cars, Republicans put them on the front!"

"""Oh, hey! I didn't even recognize you!"" means ""I saw you and tried to avoid you, but here you are."""

"Have you ever smelt moth balls before? Isn't it hard to pull their little legs apart?"

"whats black and doesn't work? decaf coffee, you racist bastard!"

"What does a drug addict like to do in their free time? Netflix and pills :D"

"If people are talking about you behind your back, then just Fart"

"Boob Size Grades A ---> Almost Boobs B ---> Barely there C ---> Can't Complain! D ---> Damn! DD ---> Double damn! E ---> Enormous! F ---> Fake G ---> Get a reduction!"

"I do not have an OCD over tidiness. I just wanted to clear that up."

"What's the definition of ""Trust""? Two cannibals giving each other head"