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Joke of the Day

"""Oh, hey! I didn't even recognize you!"" means ""I saw you and tried to avoid you, but here you are."""

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"""The main thing about being a woman is trying to lock in moisture"" -TV"
"Why are there no elderly people in Africa? They all die when they turn aidy."
"You can tune a guitar... but you can't tuna fish!"
"What's a Pirate's favorite letter? Ye would think it be Arrr(R) but its the Sea(C)!"
"If Donald Trump becomes president, and Boris Johnson becomes UK's PM... It'll be like toupees in a pod."
"Incest: The Boardgame Fun for the whole family!"
"Little Susie goes to the doctor... Little Susie goes to the doctor. Doctor puts a stethoscope on her back and says, ""Ok now, big breathes."" Susie says, ""I know! And I'm only 12!"""
"what ultimately decides your fate while you are driving? Your Carma"
"I've fallen in love with a pencil and we're getting married. I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B."