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Joke of the Day

"Boob Size Grades A ---> Almost Boobs B ---> Barely there C ---> Can't Complain! D ---> Damn! DD ---> Double damn! E ---> Enormous! F ---> Fake G ---> Get a reduction!"

"I wish people were like Internet videos and you could tap them lightly to see a clock of how much longer they're going to be talking."

"No internet access in Cairo- Now the country is just called Gypt."

"WIFE:Someone's broken in ME *grabs baseball bat*Wait here [downstairs] PAL:Can't u just tell her u wanna play baseball M: Keep ur voice down"

"What's the difference between communism and capitalism? In the former, man exploits man, in the latter, it's exactly the opposite."

"Why are blondes so good with odd numbers? Because they, like, can't even!"

"My wife fave birth to our daughter yesterday. She was born with jaundice So there she was - small round and yellow. We called her *melon*-y"

"A man walks into a therapist's with just clingfilm around his waist therapist says, ""I can clearly see you're nuts""."

"Some friends of mine recently lost their baby. They swore to never dress him in camouflage again if he turns up."

"My wife is always trying to pick a fight by making fun of my impotence. Well she won't get a rise out of me."