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Joke of the Day

"Wife: ""How did your first day as a lifeguard go?"" Me: ""Amazingly well, thanks. Everyone was so friendly and waving at me."""

"So I told a deaf guy... ""Stop me if you've heard this one..."""

"It's always a shame when people die so young... there's just so many things they'll never get to Chekov their bucket list."

"Could you please tell your mother to stop wearing so many different lip sticks? It's making my dick start to look like a rainbow."

"My favorite joke: What do hillbillies do for Halloween? Pump kin."

"What Is Difference Between Bomb And Condom.? What Is Difference Between Bomb And Condom.? # # # # # In A Bomb Blast Population Decrease.. * But. . * In A Condom Blast Population Increase..!"

"Why don't fairies live under toadstools? Because there's not mushroom!"

"Lesbian Vampires What did one lesbian vampire say to the other? See you next month! Credit : /u/andrej88"

"Babysitters are just teenagers who behave like adults so that adults can go out and behave like teenagers."

"I hate when people ask me what I see myself doing in 5 years...... I don't have 2020 vision"