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Joke of the Day

"Lesbian Vampires What did one lesbian vampire say to the other? See you next month! Credit : /u/andrej88"

"What's the main thing a woman needs to think about when considering a potential boyfriend? Is this the man I want my kids to spend every second weekend with?"

"Why do Russians love Pho so much? Because they're so...viet."

"Happy Valentines Day. And Merry Christmas to FTD, Hallmark and Zales."

"Personally, I don't think it would feel good to be walking on sunshine. The sun is a fucking hot ball of gas."

"I've started a business building yachts in my attic Sails are going through the roof!"

"If you are Russian on your way to the bathroom and Russian when you get out, what are you in the bathroom? Puttin."

"This morning I was at the atm when an elderly woman asked if I could check her balance So I pushed her over"

"impress your children by showing them a floppy disk and telling them it's a 3D model of a save icon."

"What do you call it when Google Glass connects to the internet? Eye-fi."