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Joke of the Day

"Why don't fairies live under toadstools? Because there's not mushroom!"

"What's the difference between a kindergarten class and an ISIS camp? I don't know man, I just fly the drone."

"If you stop water with a dam... ...do you stop holy water with a goddamn? If you psychically stop holy water for a living, can you mind your own goddamn business? -&y (Yes i wrote that myself)"

"I had sex while camping yesterday. It was fucking in tents!"

"[Heaven] Me: What happened? God: You were sending a DM & got hit by a bus. Me: I only have one ques- God: Sorry, man. She was totes a dude."

"The Galactic Empire, after the destruction of the Death Star, has taken to bowling during the interim. The Empire Strikes Back, they call it."

"5 out of six researchers conclude, Russian roulette is complete safe."

"10 ways to avoid clickbait! Well, that wasn't one of them.."

"When is the only time you can park like a retard? In a handicapped spot."

"I wouldn't take a bullet for you but I'd definitely push someone in front of you to take it for you. Same thing."