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Joke of the Day

"I like my women the way I like my coffee Light and sweet, but with lots of fucked up behind the scenes things that had to happen in order to produce them."

"[my laboratory] ME: I'VE DONE IT! MOUSE WITH EAR GROWING ON IT'S BACK: Holy crap keep it down."

"So a train runs over a woman... A train runs over a woman... Who's fault is it? The train driver's because he was driving through the kitchen."

"What did the blind and deaf girl get for Christmas? Cancer."

"What did Lawrence Taylor say when they told him the prostitute he was with 15? ""That bitch told me she was 13!"""

"Knock Knock Walter White: knock knock. Skyler : knock knock who? Walter White: I am the one who knocks."

"My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer... I said, No, wait! I can change!"

"I wanted to make a chemistry joke... But I'm too basic."

"machines in a casino do you know which machine is the most likely to pay out? The ATM"

"The first time I got a universal remote control... I thought to myself, ""This changes everything."""