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Joke of the Day

"What did Lawrence Taylor say when they told him the prostitute he was with 15? ""That bitch told me she was 13!"""

"What is a Mexicans favorite sport? Cross-country"

"What do you get when you cross the CIA and the Republican Party? Shot in the head in Dallas."

"Your Mom is so fat... That when she sat on a Iphone it turned into a Ipad."

"Why do mermaids wear sea shells? Because D-shells are too big and B-shells are too small."

"They told me if you put your newborn in front of an orphanage he would grow up an Orphan So I stuck my baby in the ATM machine so he could grow up to be a rich banker"

"What do you call a snobbish thief walking down the stairs? A condescending con descending."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Abba ! Abba who ? Abba'out turn ! Quick march!"

"*LIGHTHOUSE* BATMAN - You call? L/HOUSE KEEPER - Shit, not again man. I am so sorry. BATMAN - Dead seagull on the light? LK -*Nods*"

"I swear...I think restaurants with drive thru's identify the dumbest employee and say ""here, you get to wear the headset"""