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Joke of the Day

"After i walked out of the theatre from watching star wars I turned to my woman and said, ""so do you wanna chewbacca on this cakka?"""

"Why did Brazil lose the World Cup? Weak back."

"boss: I've been reviewing the security footage from last night and... me: OH SHIT! boss: OH SHIT IS RIGHT! YOUR DANCE MOVES ARE ON POINT!"

"If you shout ""I am a STRONG BLACK woman"" in front of the mirror enough times then security comes and drags you out of the Gap changing room."

"What is the difference between USA and USB? One connects to all of your devices and accesses the data, the other is a hardware standard."

"Its important you remember that unprotected phone sex........"

"Two atoms were crossing the road... ...when the first atom screams ""Ahhhhh! I lost an electron"". The second atom asks ""Are you sure?"" to which the first atom replied ""Yes, I'm positive."""

"If you take the word ""spatula"" out of the dictionary it's just a list of things that aren't spatulas."

"You know, Hitler must have been a pretty great artist. There are a ton of museums dedicated to his work, after all."

"Breaking Bad joke (credit to edrubio6) Skyler: Hey, Walt, wanna hear a joke? Walter: Okay. Skyler: Knock kno- Walter: I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!"