167779

Joke of the Day

"boss: I've been reviewing the security footage from last night and... me: OH SHIT! boss: OH SHIT IS RIGHT! YOUR DANCE MOVES ARE ON POINT!"

"I got infatuated with a pizza. I thought it was just a *crust*. But damn, it was love at first *slice*"

"Why did hitler get an A in chemistry? He always knew the final solution!"

"What do you call a repeat line cutter? A pair of scissors."

"People that type in all caps are... Capitalists."

"Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund? Because he wanted to... ""Get along little doggy"""

"Why do failing college girls always screw their professors? Cause they want the D."

"Have you heard about the new broom they invented? Its sweeping the nation"

"Surreal, wtf, insane Repost: Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stamp out fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks. lolwut Any similar?"

"A Sausage and an egg in a frying pan. Sausage says: 'It's hot in here.' Egg replies: 'A talking sausage!'"