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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between USA and USB? One connects to all of your devices and accesses the data, the other is a hardware standard."

"What do you call homosexual dinosaurs? What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lickalotapuss. What do you call a gay dinosaur? A megasoreass."

"I shoveled half my driveway yesterday but my wife's still not happy because it just so happens to be the top half the sun melted."

"Sees cute guy in the parking. Drops something so I can bend over & do the sexy hair flip. Forgets I have short hair. He sees me as seizing."

"What do you call an Atheist at a Christian fancy dress party? A cross-dresser."

"Why is hockey a girls sport? Because it has periods"

"Someone said to me today that my clothes are gay. I said yeah, they came out of the closet this morning."

"What subreddit do unborn babies use? Pro Life Tips."

"Has anything happened since 2008? I've been looking down at my phone."

"My wife told me I needed to stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe."