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Joke of the Day

"Why did Brazil lose the World Cup? Weak back."

"A man goes to a partially deaf doctors Man: Doctor Doctor I can't remember who sang the Pinball Wizard. Doctor: The....... who?"

"A teenager buys condoms for the first time... The cashier says, ""That'll be $9.95 plus tax."". Horrified, the boy exclaims ""I thought they stayed on by themselves!"""

"My first escort... was a Ford"

"Thanks to Day Light Savings.... ....I've masturbated for an hour and 30 seconds."

"at library ME: This book wasn't helpful at all! LIBRARIAN: Why? What's the problem? BIRD: [mockingly] ""Why? What's the problem?"""

"Why did Al Gore get a nipple ring? Cuz he heard Bush got a Dick Cheney."

"I shoot cans... Mexicans, Puerto Ricans, and Africans."

"There are three types of people in this world. People who can count and people who can't."

"A guy walks into a bar. He sees a pirate with a steering wheel in his pants. The guy asks ""Why do you have a steering wheel in your pants?"". The pirate says ""I don't know but its driving me nuts!""."