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Joke of the Day

"Interesting that on Opposite Day you cannot declare that it is so."

"The other day, I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow... I called her up and asked, ''Did you get my drift?''"

"What do you call that useless skin around the penis? A man...."

"My girlfriend broke up with me because I have dandruff and out of shape. My girlfriend broke up with me because I have dandruff and I'm out of shape. I guess I need some conditioning."

"Sometimes I wake up grumpy.. Other times I let her sleep"

"I would rather cuddle then have sex. If your good with grammar you'll get it."

"Damn girl! Your name must be Ebola... All I can think about is you spreading."

"What did the porn actress say when she opened the door? Make sure to come upstairs."

"What's the last thing you want to hear when you're giving a blow job to Willie Nelson? ""I'm not Willie Nelson."""

"A friend of mine asked if you could catch AIDS from a toilet seat. I said, only if you sit down before the other guy gets up."