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Joke of the Day

"Hate it when i accidentally drink a small amount of a carbonated beverage and my body is unable to release the gas and i pop like a seagull."

"My brain is like Internet Explorer Slow, rarely used, and needs some things deleted from its history"

"the smiley face :) emoticon was invemted becuase, for som reason, peopel are no longer comfortabel with using the words ""i am happy"""

"A guy goes to the doctor because he wants to get a prescription for a laxative... After a few checks the doctor nods and says: ""yep, you're full of shit."" and hands him a prescription."

"As a purple faced man I long to meet a purple faced woman someday... Don't hold your breath"

"What is the favorite sports team at the twin towers? The Jets"

"Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar... The bartender asks ""why the long face?"""

"""Are you pro gay?"" he asked. ""Amateur at best,"" I replied"

"Each time a person sneezes on an airplane, that sneeze circulates the entire airplane cabin before being filtered out by vents."

"From now on non fiction and fiction books shall be referred to as Fo Reals and Not Fo Reals. Pls pass along,"