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Joke of the Day

"""Is that a banana in ur pocket or are u just happy to see me haha"" [i pull a hand full of lasagna out of my pocket] ""Actually it's lasagna"""

"If you can't hang Don't be a runaway slave"

"Note to self: Before committing any murders, get head and shoulders. Can't be leaving DNA all over the place."

"Do you believe in God? ""Do you believe in God?"" ""Of course! There's only one J.C. for me!"" AND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA!!!! !!!"

"Great Comcast customer service http://gizmodo.com/comcast-changed-customers-name-to-asshole-brown-but-i-1682409072 Best article i red in while."

"What did the two gum diseases say to the one who had a party without them? Why di'n'ja 'vite us?"

"A cannibal ate a charismatic... He threw up his hands"

"Why did no one notice Thor's brother? Because he was low-key"

"One of the most popular searches on pornhub is Minecraft porn I tried searching for that once. Unfortunately, it was blocked."

"Did you hear the shocking news about Yahoo this morning? Apparently they still have 500 million users."