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Joke of the Day
"I just read the words ""untimely death"" and thought, ""Man, I hope my death is timely."""
Next Joke
"Will Smith was found guilty of murder. Investigators say they found fresh prints at the scene."
"What do you do if an old man asks for a helping hand? He is meaning a hand job so run away!"
"What's the difference between a middle school flute player and a dress maker Dress makers tuck up frills"
"What do Jews drive? A hard bargain"
"""One man's trash is another man's treasure,"" is an awesome phrase But it's a horrible way to tell your kid they're adopted."
"If Donald Trump was elected president... Instead of saying ""You're fired."" He'd say ""You're deported."""
"Worst things the parents do on Home Alone: 3. Never punish Buzz 2. Forget one of their kids 1. Try to make everyone drink milk with pizza"
"Remember alcohol is NEVER the answer. ""Why can't I get it up?"" Okay, sometimes alcohol is the answer."
"Sometimes having an extra chromosome... really gets me down"