131570

Joke of the Day

"A hurricane is like a woman. When they come, they are wet, crazy, and wild. But when they leave, they take your house and your car."

"What do you call a deer with no eyes? I have no eye deer. What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs. I still have no eye deer."

"So I donated blood today... Good to know my blood is gonna be running through some other guy's boner"

"And yet, despite the look on my face, you're still talking."

"How can you tell if a 14 year old smokes weed? Just wait. They'll tell you."

"What would you get if Harry Potter tried to kill Darth Vader? *A Vader Cadaver*"

"I can actually decide what is inspirational on my own. But thanks for the warning"

"What's up with all these dudes growing 70s porn mustaches? They tickle."

"Avian Oprah outside my bedroom window: ""YOU get a worm! And YOU get a worm!"" They're going nuts out there."

"WW2 started from a game of telephone when Hitler said "" I hate shoes"""