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Joke of the Day

"I can actually decide what is inspirational on my own. But thanks for the warning"

"You can only push me so far before I breakdance."

"I wish my husband was as concerned with ""preheating"" me as he is with the oven..."

"What is the difference between a wife and a mistress? The mistress says ""Oh darling! That was *wonderful*!"" The wife says ""Beige. I think we'll paint the ceiling beige."""

"Wizards of the Coast: Wizards of the Coast, and this is where the magic happens."

"Thank goodness I'm loud and obnoxious all the time, so my family can't blame it on the alcohol."

"It's hard telling how many Kleenex I've fathered."

"HELLO? HELP! I'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED & DROPPED IN A NON-ENGLISH-SPEAKING COUNTRY & I DON'T KNOW- wait. Nm. Fell asleep at Szechuan Palace again."

"How does Trent Reznor's mom hang up his Christmas stocking? With a Nine Inch Nail."

"Have you heard the joke about the 13-inch ruler? Never mind. It's too long."