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Joke of the Day

"Avian Oprah outside my bedroom window: ""YOU get a worm! And YOU get a worm!"" They're going nuts out there."

"Why does Batman wear a mask? Because the citizens of Gotham aren't morons, like those idiots over in Metropolis."

"Never mind trying to scare me about going to hell religious people, it won't work. I was married for 6 years."

"A drunk man walks into a bar... ... and a table... and a chair..."

"Why can't Jesus eat a cheeseburger? Because he's dead."

"My friend asked me if the new Star Wars was in 3D... ... and I said, yes, but they R2D2."

"How do you know Mexicans and African Americans are similar?? Once you know Juan you know Jamal"

"Blood oranges at the farmer's market. What am I, The Lord of War? Peddle your conflict fruit someplace else."

"Have you heard the watermelon joke? You have now! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^I'msosorry"

"Don't reply to nuclear reactors that say they're ugly. They're just fission for compliments."