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Joke of the Day

"Don't use asian prostitutes you'll just be horny again in an hour"

"My bucket list. 1. Buy bucket."

"Two fish are in a tank... One of them says ""hey, how do you drive this thing.."""

"Why didn't Russia return the NSA whistleblower to the United States? He was Snowden."

"I wonder how many people come visit our country and then immediately leave after trying a slice of American cheese."

"Did you hear about that poor gymnast's bank account? Her balance was outstanding."

"I wish the mailman would come to my house at the same time as the garbage man so he could give my mail directly to him."

"Before you cannibalize your roommate due to cabin fever, remember that you cannot afford the rent alone. #blizzard2016"

"Baseball is my favorite sport, because you can play it on a professional level with food in your mouth."

"Keep calm and stop making different versions of that ""keep calm"" poster."