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Joke of the Day

"Baseball is my favorite sport, because you can play it on a professional level with food in your mouth."

"I'm glad humans don't do the combo breed names like Labradoodle. I wouldn't want to tell people I'm Germish."

"Well, it's easy to tell I'm married. It's Friday night and I'm at home updating my Facebook status..."

"What do you call a spitting vampire? Spatula."

"What happens to your car insurance if you don't notify them that you've wrecked a car? I don't know, but it's not wreck-amended."

"And on the 7th day God rested, but the children did not rest. So on Monday God made school and He sent the kids and all the people rejoiced."

"If they grew up in the same house and shared a pet, siblings have the same porn name and I think that's just SICK."

"What type of cancer is an anarchist immune to? Prostate"

"The best thing about the Transformers trilogy was the part in the first one when my brother went to go get popcorn and fell down the aisle."

"Why is Obama left-handed? Because blacks have no rights"