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Joke of the Day
"Two fish are in a tank... One of them says ""hey, how do you drive this thing.."""
Next Joke
"Why can't you find an Abbey National at the North Pole? Because Santa dere."
"Patient: ""How much longer do I have doc? Doctor: ""Ten."" Patient: ""Ten what?"" Doctor: ""Nine..."""
"If the music's too loud you're too old."
"[about to message girl he likes] Me: I should just talk to her like I would anyone else. Be myself. And not act stupid. Brain: OR"
"I can finally set my tivo to record ""the biggest loser""... ...kept trying to record the jets game"
"I can always tell what my present is off Iggy Azelea because she's really bad at wrapping."
"I just ordered a door bell on Amazon... Shit, how am I gonna know when it gets here?"
"It was called a jumpoline... ... before your mother jumped on it."
"What did one pee drinker say when he surprised the other pee drinker? Urine for a treat!"